


Like a Drunken Fairy Godmother

by VeeCWS



Series: Rocky Mountain One Shots [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombies, F/M, matchmaker merle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeeCWS/pseuds/VeeCWS
Summary: In a small town Wyoming bar Daryl meets a fellow Georgia native. Of course he needs a little help from Merle.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Beth Greene
Series: Rocky Mountain One Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177745
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44





	Like a Drunken Fairy Godmother

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Пьяная фея-крёстная](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29777133) by [Evitolla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evitolla/pseuds/Evitolla)



“Look at all these Youths today. Ain’t a single one of ‘em get their heads out they asses and look up from them fucking phones.”

Daryl grunted in response and took another sip of his beer, clearly uninterested in his brother’s rant. He grabbed the attention of the bartender and ordered another Budweiser.

Merle, not in the slightest deterred by his brother’s unresponsive audience, continued his favorite pastime: people watching. To be fair he was always on the hunt for a nice set of ‘dick sucking lips’.

He punched Daryl’s arm. “Look-e here and see what the cat dragged in Darylina. You know how much Bachelorette Parties love ol’ Merle.”

Daryl peered behind him and sure enough a loud group of women had entered the bar, complete with pink sashes and sparkly penis headbands. “Have at it,” he grunted.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Merle cackled, rubbing his hands together and walking away. “So which one of you ladies ordered a stud? Because I have arrived!”

Taking a deep breath Daryl could finally relax and be alone. Even though the bar was busy the crowd had yet to make their way to the back bar, preferring to stay up front where the live band was still setting up.

A few minutes later a woman came to the rear bar and ordered a beer. She took a seat two stools down from Daryl, occasionally throwing a glance at the rowdy group of guys behind them.

Daryl stole a few glances at the new-comer, mainly surprised no one had followed her over or tried to strike up a conversation with her yet. This was Wyoming afterall, and the male to female ratio was heavily in her favor. She was good looking, like really good looking. Long blonde hair, tiny tank top, and legs for miles under skin tight jeans. She had a small tattoo on the inside of her wrist in the shape of Georgia.

“You from Georgia?” he asked casually.

The girl turned to his voice as if just noticing him for the first time. “Yeah,” she smiled and rubbed the tiny tattoo lightly.

“Oh yeah?” he smiled. “Where abouts?”

“Senoia.”

“No shit? I’m from Canton.”

She beamed and angled her stool to face him. “What a small world! What brought you to Wyoming?”

He took another sip of his beer before answering. “I was working in the gold mine down there until the market crashed. My brother wanted to get the hell outta Georgia and we ended up here. Money was too good to pass up. What about you, girl?”

“Recruited straight out of school to work up here. Threw a stupid amount of money at me to move.” She ordered another beer. “So what do you do up here? Where do you work?”

“Dozer operator out at Black Thunder. You?”

“Mining engineer at Caballo.”

He smirked. “Oh, so you’re the one coming up with all them plans, huh? Always felt like punching them desk jockeys.”

She laughed. “OK, fair enough.”

They were silent a moment, listening to the sounds of the band starting up in the next room over. The girl looked around again and sighed.

“I keeping you?” Daryl asked.

“No, I was- Well…” She shrugged. “I was on a date with a guy but I guess he forgot about me? He’s been with his friends since we got here tonight.”

Daryl grunted and contemplated that for a moment. “Jackass,” he muttered several seconds later.

“Darylina! Darylina! Come on, we’re going to Fireside!” Merle was flanked on each side by equally inebriated bridesmaids and had on a flashing penis headband and Mardi Gras beads also sporting the male genitals. 

The blonde smirked. “Is that one yours?”

Daryl sighed, downed his beer and threw a couple dollars on the bar. “Somebody has to be the babysitter.”

As Daryl turned to walk to his brother and his new friends the blonde called out to him. “Hey, text me sometime?” and passed him a bar napkin with her number.

***

The next morning Daryl and Merle, and Rick were sitting at a bar nursing their hangovers with Bloody Marys. Daryl was in a particularly foul mood having been the object of his brother’s teasing barbs for the last hour.

Rick spoke up. “You really didn’t get her name? Seems like that should have been the first thing you got.”

“And then he pined for her all night,” Merle cackled. “After I had some grade A, prime ass pussy lined up for him! Bitch was all over him and he wouldn’t even dip his dick in her!” He drank quickly. “It’s alright though, I gave her a taste of Dixon for her sorrow.”

“Classy,” Rick muttered. “So why don’t you ask her to come out tonight, to Good Times?”

“Ain’t even know her name. Besides, she was on a date with some other guy, she doesn’t need to be slumming it at some dive bar.”

Merle snatched Daryl’s phone from where it sat on the table in front of him. “Gimme the damn thing, I’ll figure his out.” He started to scroll through the contacts until he found ‘Georgia’ and hit dial.

“You’re not calling her are you?!”

“Hush now baby brother, it’s ringing.” He swatted Daryl’s hand away and put the phone on speaker.

After three rings her voicemail answered. “Hey, it’s Beth. You know what to do!”

Merle smiled triumphantly. “There you go! Beth!”

Daryl snatched his phone from his brother’s hands with a scowl. “She gonna think I’m some kind of psycho for calling her and not leaving a message.”

Merle made a grab for the phone again but Daryl was faster. “No way, you’ve done enough calling for one day!”

Merle slapped Daryl’s head and grabbed the phone back. “Ain’t calling nobody, dipshit. Imma text her.” He started typing. “Hey… sugartits…”

“You are not!”

“Fine, fine… pussy,” he waved Daryl off. “Hey… Beth… it’s… Daryl… from… last… night… Want… to…meet... me… tonight?” The phone whooshed as the message was sent. “See? Easy,” and tossed the phone back.

Daryl blinked in surprise as the phone dinged almost immediately with a reply. “Fuck, she said yes,” he whispered.

Merle smirked. “Bippity boppity boo, bitches.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic since I was in highschool! I have so much anxiety about posting this. Thanks for reading!


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